Family Mediators come from all sorts of professional backgrounds, such as law, finance, teaching, social services or healthcare.
The mediators role is not to act as judge and jury, instead they create an environment in which you can be heard and take a more active role in decision making. Nothing is agreed in mediation until it is agreed by you both and the mediator is not there to influence you into making decisions you are uncomfortable with. Rather, the mediator will talk through your options, give examples of what others do in similar circumstances and share their legal knowledge with you. Ultimately, it is up to the two of you what happens in mediation and finding what works for you.
A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting is the first step in the mediation process. It has a dual purpose, firstly, it is for you to learn more about what mediation is, what the process looks like and what its core values are. You will also learn about the alternatives to mediation so that you have the fullest understanding of what your options are moving forward. Secondly, it is for the mediator to understand you and you circumstances and what you would like to achieve from mediation. The MIAM is between you and the mediator and is entirely confidential, you may have another party with you for your MIAM but not in joint mediation save for certain special circumstances.
In an ideal world, the best time to attend your MIAM is at the earliest stage possible where you see conflict has arisen or you will need to discuss arrangements. This prevents issues escalating and possibly ending up more contentious or in court.
Mediators will always recommend that you seek legal advice alongside mediation as the mediator must remain impartial. However, in mediation you will learn more about the legal options so long as they are discussed in a transparent and neutral way. Once mediation has begun, it must be transparent. Solicitors will likely recommend that you attend a MIAM before making an application to court as it is important that you attempt to engage in negotiations outside of court as a first step.
At the end of your MIAM your mediator will ask whether you would like to proceed to joint/shuttle mediation. Should you choose to proceed, the mediator will ask you for the details of the other party and will then make contact with them independently; the mediator will explain to the other party that you have attended your MIAM and invite them to attend their own MIAM. If, after both MIAMS have taken place, you both wish to continue into joint mediation you can then schedule your first session.
Each session lasts between one and a half to two hours. The number of sessions you have will depend on the complexity of your circumstances and how you communicate in the sessions. Should mediation be successful, and you are able to reach agreement the mediator will write this agreement down in something known as a Memorandum of Understanding. The mediator will then discuss with you your options should you wish to make this agreement legally binding and what this process looks like.
You may feel that an informal agreement suits you better and you have good faith that it will be kept to or that you can refer to it at times of dispute. For some however, it is important to make agreements formal for piece of mind.
If your circumstances change after mediation has concluded and the arrangements you made together are not working you may always return to mediation to discuss this further. It is possible to come back to mediation and make amendments to your Memorandum of Understanding. This is not a failure, often trialing an agreement may highlight certain things you felt would be possible are not or they are working in the best way for the whole family.
Mediation has a very high success rate should both parties choose to engage in it. Your MIAM is your opportunity to ask questions about the process and the mediator will signpost helpful information and talk to you about whether they feel mediation will work for you. The mediator will also highlight the alternatives to mediation so that you have the fullest picture of the different avenues available to you.
UK law stipulates that you must at least consider whether mediation to resolve your differences before making an application to Family Court. It can also be the case that a judge may suspend your case so that you have the opportunity to do this. Mediation can also take place alongside court proceedings depending on the circumstances.
If you do decide after you attend your MIAM that you would still like to make an application to the Family Court, you will need to be able to evidence that you have attended a MIAM. There are some special circumstances in which mediation is not suitable, this is where there is or has been child abuse or domestic violence/abuse; your mediator will discuss with you in your MIAM.
Yes, unless you are on a low income you will have to pay for mediation, however, the costs are far lower than the alternatives in family law so it is worth trying mediation first. Please see the costs page of this site to find out more about fees.
If you are on a low income, have little or no equity in a property and no significant assets you may be entitled to Legal Aid. If this is the case mediation will be covered and you may also be able to get financial help to cover the costs of legal advice in connection with mediation. It is worth noting that Legal Aid only cover the costs of a set amount of mediation session and it only applies to the party who is eligible; it will not usually cover the other person attending mediation.
